여태까지는 문장을 어떻게 써야하는지에 대해서 살펴봤다면, 이제는 단락을 어떻게 써야하는지에 대해 본격적으로 들어갑니다.
Principle 2: A reader will feel that a paragraph is cohesive if it has other strings of related words, strings that we will call thematic strings.
Clark's practice of carefully mapping every fossil made it possible to follow the evolutionary development of various types through time. Beautiful sequences of antelopes, giraffes and elephants were obtained; new species evolving out of old and appearing in younger strata. In short, evolution was taking place before the eyes of the Omo surveyors, and they could time it. The finest examples of this process were in several lines of pigs which had been common at Omo and had developed rapidly. Unsnarling the pig story was turned over to paleontologist Basil Cooke. He produced family trees for pigs whose various types were so accurately dated that pigs themselves became measuring sticks that could be applied to fossils of questionable age in other places that had similar pigs.
일단, 첫 문장이 topic sentence인 것은 확실해보입니다. 그리고 우리가 여태까지 봐왔듯이, 이 첫 문장이 말하고자 하는 것은 follow the evolutionary development of various types through time 입니다. 그렇다면, 여기서 네 개의 테마가 생깁니다: FOLLOW, development, {fossils}, time이죠. 그렇다면, 나머지 단락에 의해 이 네 개의 테마와 관련된 단어들을 계속 나열할 겁니다. 이것들을 위에서 한 것처럼 바꾸게 된다면:
Clark's PRACTICE OF CAREFULLY MAPPING every {fossil} made it possible to FOLLOW the evolutionary development of various types through time. Beautiful sequences of {antelopes, giraffes and elephants} were OBTAINED; new species evolving out of old and appearing in younger strata. In short, evolution was taking place before the eyes of the Omo surveyors, and they could time it. The finest examples of this process were in several {lines of pigs} which had been common at Omo and had developed rapidly. Unsnarling the {pig} story WAS TURNED OVER to paleontologist Basil Cooke. He PRODUCED family trees for {pigs} whose {various types} were SO ACCURATELY dated that {pigs} themselves became measuring sticks that could BE APPLIED to {fossils }of questionable age in other places that had {similar pigs}.
이렇게 됩니다. 그렇다면 다음 단락을 봅시다:
Truman had many issues to factor into his decision about the Oppenheimer committee's scientific recommendation to stop the hydrogen bomb project. A Sino-Soviet bloc had been proclaimed; the Cold War was developing; Republican leaders were withdrawing support for his foreign policy; and opinion was coming down on the side of a strong response to the first Russian atom bomb test. As a Democratic President, Truman concluded that being second in developing the hydrogen bomb was an alternative he could not risk. In retrospect, some now believe that the risk was worth taking, but they did not have to consider the issues that Truman did.
첫번째 문장을 보게 된다면, 테마들은 recommendation, stop, hydrogen bomb project이 되겠죠. 하지만, 그 후 문장들에서 테마들이 이어진 단어들은 거의 없다시피 합니다. 그렇기 때문에 이 단락은 잘못 쓰여진 단락입니다. 윌리엄스가 수정한 단락은 다음과도 같습니다:
When the Oppenheimer committee advised President Truman to stop the hydrogen bomb project, Truman had to consider not just scientific issues, but also how developing tensions between the U.S. and the USSR were influencing domestic politics. When the Russians and Chinese proclaimed a hostile Sino-Soviet bloc, the Cold War became a political issue. At the same time, Truman was losing Republican support for his foreign policy. So when Russia set off its first atomic bomb, Americans demanded that their President respond strongly. He decided that he could not risk voters' seeing him as letting the Russians be first in developing the most powerful weapon yet. Some critics now believe that he should have taken that risk, but they did not have to worry about Cold War American politics.
여기서 테마와 연결된 단어들은 다음과 같습니다:
international tension: developing tensions between the U.S. and the USSR, a hostile Sino-Soviet bloc, the Cold War;
domestic politics: Republican support, voters, Cold War American politics.
전 단락과 다르게, topic sentence에서 명시했던 테마들이 반복되는 것을 볼 수 있습니다.